Reschedule Halloween? Never!

Some silly politician from Connecticut is proposing to reschedule Halloween.  Says Rep. Tim Larson, D-Conn.:

Halloween is [a] fun night for the whole family, but not so much when you have to race home from work, get the kids ready for trick or treating, welcome the neighborhood children, and then try to get everyone to bed for an early school and work morning.

Obviously, Mr. Larson, you have no sensitivity to the season.  Yes, it's inconvenient, but October 31 is immutable.  What do you think this is, Thanksgiving?  No, thank you.

It's Decorative Gourd Season

Leave it to McSweeney's to provide some delightfully twisted commentary on the Halloween season.  When it comes to ringing in the season with something strange, Colin Nissan's "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers" is about as good as it gets:

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

Oh, yes. This shit just got real.

Altern-o-Lanterns

Photo by Arbitror, via Instructables

 If you're worried about the pumpkin shortage this year, the Hairpin has a round-up of pumpkin alternatives, including the reasonable squash, the adorable apple, and the slightly more ridiculous grape and tomato.

Dead Bat in Jo-Ann's Halloween Aisle

"Bat" by possumgirl2, via Flickr

It may sound like set-up to a bad joke, but a dead rabid bat was found recently in the Halloween aisle of an Olympia, Washington, Jo-Ann Fabrics.  Strange, but true.

[Via The Consumerist]